THE PINEAPPLE EXPRESS

I suppose you are wondering why I would have seen this movie. The easy answer is that it had been at least five days since I had been to the theatre, and there really wasn't anything else playing that I wanted to see, or hadn't already seen. Mamma Mia! (plz). The Dark Knight? (saw it). Kit Kittredge? (shoot me). Step Brothers? (I saw the preview, which means I likely saw the best part of the movie and can fill in the rest with my imagination). Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 (chick flick… revive me so you can shoot me again). Star Wars? (waiting to take all the kids). I don't remember what else was showing. I just remember thinking that it was slim pickings. And so my initial response to Mike's suggestion that we go to the movies was just not to go. But he said, what about The Pineapple Express?

I didn't know much about it other than it was a comedy, and so, obviously, I'm thinking that I'd rather stay home and mow the lawn. With scissors. Then, Mike being the little salesman that he is, tells me that although it's a comedy, it's really more of an action/comedy, and it didn't look good to him at first either, but he read the reviews and it's supposed to be really good, and he's sure I'd like it. I'm skeptical, but since I have my laptop where it belongs (on my lap), and I'm already on the internet, I decide to look it up. Besides, I'm not sure where my scissors are.
Initial reviews were positive, and it did mention that it was action-packed, gory, in fact. This peaked my interest. BUT, it was written by Seth Rogen (Superbad-how ironic), and James Franco played a major part in it (Spiderman). It also revolved around dope smoking (the name of the "brand" of weed was the rare Pineapple Express). Rogen, Franco, and the drug aspect aside, it was enough to get me to go.

The Pineapple Express was actually not half bad. And although comedies are rarely funny to me, I did find myself laughing out loud on several occasions. This is a rarity that warrants a party or something. It was, however, over the top and vulgar on several occasions, and the language was gratuitous. This, I could have done without.

Probably the most surprising thing about the movie was the presence of James Franco. He was bad in Spiderman. He was OK in Annapolis. He was absolutely phenomenal in The Pineapple Express. I guess I've never seen him in a funny role, smiling from ear to ear and giggling the entire time. This is his niche. He must actually be that way. Or maybe he really was high throughout the entire filmmaking process instead of acting like he was. I choose to think he is actually a very happy person. Anyway, he was absolutely hysterical, and this is his role (not necessarily as a pot dealer, just as a humorous laid back person). He should never play those sucky roles where he has to play a pissy person. That is so not him—he is a funny man. So much so that Seth Rogen was actually going to play the part Franco played, but stepped down when he realized how much funnier Franco would be playing it.

Rogen's screenplay is unfortunately written in a way that creates characters that suck you in. Truly he is a gifted writer. I say unfortunately because the subject matter he chooses is simply a waste. It's a waste of his talent, and the movie, filtered with an ounce or two of morality, would be just as funny without causing me to cringe every time a vulgar reference is made, including a particularly crude one that even to make a point here I cannot repeat. I will say only that it had something to do with a supreme-being and ownership of a female reproductive organ. I can't believe I even explained that. My jaw dropped at the sound of it and I slowly turned my head toward my husband in awe and wonder and he, too, looked like a deer in headlights, wondering if perhaps we might soon be struck by lightning simply for being within earshot of such a phrase.
There were others, although not quite as offensive to me (or to God, I'm sure).

So, my little movie-viewing friends, I suggest that you not take your children to such a dope-peddling movie unless you condone pot-smoking and unless you think hearing sexual references and the f-word over and over again is an occurrence not unlike their home life. Yes, I'm referring to your teenage children as well. And what a shame, that they should miss out on Franco's stellar performance and Rogen's would-be brilliant script.

-Juli
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