Then She Found Me

Starring Helen Hunt, Matthew Broderick, Bette Midler
So I watched it. A mistake, I might add. Television programming on Saturday night sucked, and I watched it. It was sappy here and there, but not quite as melodramatic as one would have believed after reading the back matter on the DVD cover. Oh, but there were still many things with which I took issue. Where do I begin?
I guess I could always start with the good stuff. Helen Hunt was marvelously beautiful, and as always, was a believable actress in every way. She plays the role of a 39-year-old teacher who gets dumped by her child-like husband. There is a problem, however, in that Helen Hunt is actually 45. And although she is still very beautiful, she looks like she has lived through every one of her 45 glorious years, not just 39 of them, as the film would have had you believe. And this is Hollywood—if one wanted to look 39, one could easily do so. It’s called stage makeup. So why not put a little effort into covering the age? Not to be entirely superficial, but just put me down if I look like I’m 45 when I’m 39. (Okay, please don’t really do that [MICHAEL]). Actually, my husband can’t put me down because last month he had my name tattooed on his chest, and since my real name is Julianne, in the event of my death, his remarriage would have to be to someone else named Julianne—good luck with that. And for your information, I so told him not to do that. But it is kinda sweet, in a trailory kinda way, is it not? It looks good next to the very large Jewish star on his arm. (No, he’s not Jewish.)
Getting back to Ms. Hunt, who’s elderly looks are exacerbated by the presence of her screen-mate, Bette Midler, who plays the character of Helen’s mother. (Midler did a great job as well) Bette is in her 60s, but looks about the same age as Helen. It’s noticeable and awkward since she is playing the role of her mother. And as my husband so promptly pointed out, they didn’t even try to cover Helen’s age. Ouch.
So there was that. Then there was this little love triangle thing going on with Helen’s husband, who she was separated from (Broderick), and the father of one of her students (Colin Firth). You know, sad things happen. Husbands leave. But here are these screenwriters who want you basically to hate this hubby, who admittedly is the epitome of irresponsibility, and want you to love this man who she starts seeing afterward (although she’s still married--perhaps she forgot). And yes, this man she falls in love with is near perfect (unrealistically so…) and you can’t help but like him too. You cannot help but be irritated by her husband--constantly. Even with this irritation, who can forget the fact that she is a married woman? Perhaps most of the world can set this trivial fact aside and say, “Oh well, she made a mistake.” Well duh, I suppose she did—he’s a complete fool. And I suppose she’ll just have to suck that one up. Some mistakes you end up living with rather than ridding yourself of, and the fact that Hollywood and the rest of the world treats this situation—marriage--with such a disposable and flippant attitude, like it’s no more important than a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, is sad. How far have we fallen, from the days when the stigma of a divorce or separation was tantamount to that of being a whore? And women’s lib (cringe) might track me down and maim me with a flatiron for saying this, but how is that a bad thing, exactly? There is a lot to be said for social perceptions keeping us on our toes. Slowly things have become more acceptable, until now, we look back and what was once a horrible outrage is now not only socially acceptable, it might actually be vogue in some circles. Movies like this, where writers actually sway the viewer by creating a likable character in one and an extremely unlikable character in another make it easy to take our eye off what is really going on behind the curtain: a woman is cheating on her husband. Somehow this is rationalized because her husband is irresponsible and because she finds a much better man (ahem, the man that just happens to be sleeping with a married woman). The more you watch stuff like this without taking the time to understand what it really is about, the more it will start unconsciously to become the social norm. The scary part is, are your kids watching this? Do they see this for what it really is, or will they, too, eventually and unconsciouslly accept this pretty rationalization created by Hollywood? And how long will it take?